Posted in Christian living, energy, Goal setting, health and wellness, Life, Marriage, Uncategorized

10 Points on How to Burn Out

Burn out is defined as – worn-out; exhausted. 

Burn out was a catch cry from the 90’s and 2000’s and having experienced 2 of them, I somehow wish I could warn everyone about how not to burn out. It is no fun being carried out of a building because you can’t stop crying and lying in fetal position unable to communicate just what is happening as you cry for days on end. Or watching as your husband literally wastes away in front of your eyes and can’t walk 6 paces due to burn out and physical exhaustion. They used to call it a “breakdown” and it is a fair analysis of what happens when your body, soul or spirit revolt and say enough.

Many in the 21st Century are so consumed with achieving or keeping on that they neglect to take the time to consider their life’s journey and how they are actually functioning until the wheels usually fall off or a major health scare forces them to reassess their life style.

Hear are 10 points to follow if you want to burn out!

  1. Over work, unfulfilled and exhausted – Any job that is taking more than 60 hours is too much. You need a balanced time for work, eating, resting, exercise, and relationships. Unbalance will cause you to burn out. Taking on tasks out of your expertise or responsibility will also cause excessive stress and anxiety – all rushing you towards a burn out.
  2. Have only a few hours sleep each night. Sleep is needed to re-rejuvenate the body. It also helps us to lose weight. I was impressed when I went to the headquarters of Huffington Post not long ago and saw sleep pods! The previous owner Ariana Huffington discovered that sleep isn’t overrated and that she shouldn’t wait until she dies to sleep. She brought sleep pods into the office discovering napping can increase productivity. Solid, sweet sleep is a gift from God!
  3. Don’t exercise regularly. Regular exercise can not be overemphasized. It doesn’t have to be ridiculous amounts but must be enough to get the heart rate up and blood flowing. Stretching exercises are gentle and help build strength as well. Fresh air also brings about sanity in this sedentary and craze filled world.
  4. Don’t eat healthily. High carbs, high sugar and high fat diet will see the body experience high highs and low lows. Change to a lot more water than coffee and sugar drinks – even juices. Go for it…fill up on those but don’t be surprised when your finally tuned machine starts to react to improper fuel.
  5. Neglect relationships. When you lose touch in your relationships you find yourself alone and lacking in emotional support and well being. We need each other. 10 hugs a day are essential for emotional well being and growth. Start counting today and be surprised how little you actually touch another human being during the course of the day. Don’t make this one creepy though..use wisdom!
  6. Don’t put devices down or multitask. Having a device in your hand constantly and multitasking with them all the time, means we are never free from pressures or interruptions. The brain can never shut down or fully concentrate on the present again separating you from relationships.
  7. Give out to too many or don’t give to any others. Again the issue with only being focused on self or too much on others means you become unbalanced like a wheel of a bike with a bulge in the tire. You can still keep peddling but it will be an unbalanced ride. Set yourself healthy boundaries!
  8. Stay in chaos. When you are overworked, overtired, over-pressurized, over extended, the last thing you feel you have time to do is get organized. However, starting to bring order out of chaos will certainly alleviate stress. Use whatever form of list-making that feels best for you, electronic or a diary. I remember when I was going through my burn outs, part of my recovery was taking control of what I could take control of – my kitchen and house! Start small if you  have to, including your work space. One lady called the Fly lady started to control her sink. I heard an officer from the Corps recently say if you want to overcome in your life start by making your bed! All good advice and a key to starting to climb out of chaos in your life.
  9. Don’t say No to anyone who asks anything of you. Learning to say no brings health on many levels. It helps you to build strong boundaries as well as keeps your work load under your control.
  10. Neglect your spiritual life  You are a spiritual being and when you only focus on the body and soul or mind you are again like the bicycle with the gammy wheel. Prayer and meditating on the Word of God brings healing and health to your body,   mind and spirit. Taking time to just sit and contemplate is nearly a lost art. When was the last time you lay on the ground and watched the clouds roll over head – without glancing at your phone in between? Or sat and listened to the birds around you instead of the ear plugs blasting music or even motivational speakers in to your ear?Life is too short!

Do the above for long enough and you are sure to find a time in your life when the brakes will suddenly go on and you won’t have a choice but to stop. Better to chose now and take time to readjust the speed and direction of your life.

Blessings

Until next time Narelle

Drop me a line and tell me how you have made a change this week to slow the pace down or readjust your settings.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Posted in Christian living, Life, Love, Marriage, sexual issues, Uncategorized

A Good Marriage Does Good Like Medicine

I wrote this at 39 years married. We are now approaching 42 years! I wrote this blog in health and wellness for a reason. Having a healthy marriage can improve the health of people – note I say healthy; as a sick marriage can cause some major health issues, both physically and emotionalley. Here are my thoughts on maintaining a healthy marriage.

I think if you have a good marriage you are less prone to many of the other stresses of life which cause dis-ease and sickness. Hope deferred makes the heart sick. I am not saying that married couples are healthier than singles I am just saying that being in a happy relationship is definitely a healthy way to live.

Someone asked me the other day what did we do to have a good marriage?

I had to stop and think about it. There are quite a few answers to that one but I guess the first one comes from what I carried down the aisle on our wedding day 39 years ago instead of the traditional wedding bouquet – A Bible. A bunch of flowers is lovely but are a bit like some expectations after the wedding – Nice for a day but die quickly thereafter. I wanted something that would reflect what I wanted from my entire marriage not just the wedding day…a foundation of Truth.

We had decided that at the very outset, the Word of God was our foundation. We also really only sang one song during our service – Turn your eyes upon Jesus which is what we have done over the 39 years (41 now).

Has it been easy? No. Have there been tears – on both sides? Absolutely! Have there been fights? For sure! Has there been anger? Of course! Has there been love? Lots!  Fun? Insane amounts!

We never started off on an easy footing. We were both young. I was 17. He was 20. We were dirt poor. We both carried incredible baggage. We were both insecure in many areas. We both were determined – in good and bad ways. We both loved the Lord.

There have been some really hard times where divorce could have been an easy out. I guess I was particularly proud and determined not to have my parents and others say, “I told you, you were too young.” I was also determined that the enemy would not have his way in destroying yet another marriage.

I believe the enemy, Satan, has been trying to destroy two institutions ordained of God for millennia – marriage and the church. So we did not want to be a statistic and we have fought hard to keep our marriage together and strong.

I also know we are often our own worst enemies, desiring our own ways, living for ourselves and not desiring the best for others above our own needs. This spells disaster to any relationship.

There have been a lot of learning experiences but these would be my top 10 steps if applied, for a relationship to survive .

  1. Keep Christ number ONE – by being in relationship with Him and keeping the Word of God as your guide and praying together. We always say to each other there is Someone we love more than the other. He is our #1.
  2. Forgive, forgive, forgive, Keep short accounts – 1 Corinthians 13 saved our 4 year old marriage when I realized I didn’t ‘love’ my husband anymore – meaning I didn’t feel like I loved him. I had to learn what true love is. I learned not to keep a record of wrongs…more on that in a later blog. Never forget; You are not perfect – neither is your partner!
  3. No/Know you can’t change the other person – you can only change yourself and how you behave or react.
  4. Give 100% without expecting anything back – When you give with that kind of love you will receive it back. I know we are told it is a 50:50 arrangement but when you only give 50% there are bound to be some issues down the track.
  5. On the same token – love yourself – Don’t neglect yourself and become a doormat. Know what you want and express that as well. Don’t lose yourself in the other person.
  6. Communication is a must. Learn how to communicate effectively with your partner – we are not all the same and have different ways to express ourselves.
  7. Keep passion alive – This is a blog in itself..but if you lose the passion in your relationship you set yourselves up for looking elsewhere for excitement. After the kids leave home the two of you are left and that is a lot of years looking at each other if you don’t find fulfillment in each other anymore. Don’t let the kids and life, dictate your passion. Fall in love with each other frequently.
  8. Keep intimacy alive – different to passion…Non-sexual touch and kind words are important. Learn to do things you like together.
  9. Be kind to one another – Spiteful, critical, demeaning words do damage and are hard to take back.
  10. Keep humour alive in a marriage – have fun! Life is hard enough without losing your ability to laugh at yourselves and the situations you face together as a family.

Keeping your marriage healthy and fun will aid a long way to keeping you each healthy. So plan to make this year a turning point in your marriage and enjoy the experience.

 

Until next time

Narelle

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Celebrating 40 years with our zany Josiah and family!