Posted in Christian living, grandparenting, internet marketing, Life, Marriage, Parenthood, pornography, sexual issues, Uncategorized

Pornography and sexual issues

fifty-shades-darker-mask
I remember a conference I was at a few years ago for internet marketing. The training led to examining such sites as Second Life where people live as avatars in a fantasy world but pay in real dollar terms. As of 2013 it had over a million users engaging in this fantasy world.

The discussion led to other sites where avatars engage in violent sexual acts on-line. During the discussion some ignorant person commented and said, “Well at least it keeps them off the streets and from acting out.”

Why do I say ignorant? Because these people obviously do not understand the phases of addiction. As a counsellor and former manager of a rehab, I have seen and studied addiction and addicts. What initially gratified will eventually no longer satisfy and a stronger more potent form will be required to try to reach the first “hit”- but will rarely succeed.

What initially satisfied with being played out on-line, in the mind, in house, can eventually lead to a much graver scenario being required to maintain or worse, increase satisfaction. The more times graphic situations are played out on-line, visually etc. the greater the action required to fulfill that desire.

Why do I broach this subject that is already so widely discussed?

Recently I noticed an article regarding the views of 15 year old girls and how they are handling or not handling the epidemic of pornography from their young male peers and the pressures they are facing in terms of sexual relationships. I was so saddened to hear the depth of expectation to perform sexual exploits to have a relationship.

I remember as a 15 year old the pressures around then,in terms of magazines, books etc. that opened the mind and eye gates to pornography. Now there are so many more avenues to contend with, for not only young people but older people also.

When we have such movies and books as 50 Shades so sought after by women – I have to ask myself two questions – Why? and When?  Why would women support such violent relationships being portrayed and then cry “foul” when men are confused with “NO”! When will we learn that what we eat we become! What we watch and read – well……I am still in shock as to how many women have sought after this book and movie, including young Christian women  with the reasoning – “But he loves her.” Sorry people wake up! This is a lie from the pit and  not the kind of love anyone should aspire to!

Lust and its acts are never going to be contained without Christ – we are human and it is a condition of sinful man, but when we see laws abolished or not upheld with limited prosecuting of those who participate or sell pornography; magazine placement in stores go unchallenged or un-protested; TV shows, questionable movies and books supported by viewing and purchasing;  we can be assured we will reap the results. Violence against women and children increases. Unplanned pregnancies of teenage girls, and subsequent abortions rise. STD’s continue to plaque the population. We reap what we sow!

I love it when I hear of young people who have kept themselves for marriage and marriages that are untouched by the smell of the fire of lust.

I don’t stand in judgement of those who have failed in those areas, because it is only by grace that any of us stand, and I know the pain of these failures, but I pray for a standard and a voice for righteousness to arise to see this flood of lust and greed stemmed. I say greed because the bottom line is they are only selling what the market demands!  And it is not just those who call themselves non-believers. I have known men in church life to visit prostitutes regularly or struggle with pornography in a big way!

Pornography does damage on so many levels: Lives shattered, physically, emotionally, and most importantly – spiritually. Paul and the other apostles warned us constantly to withdraw from sexual immorality, in whatever form that comes.

We know though that when we repent we have someone who is faithful and just to forgive us of our sins! He can set us free from the bondages of sexual issues.

We will never see a complete demise of sexual deviancy in this world, because it is a matter of sin but we can alert our young people and remind ourselves of the need to guard our hearts always and start to speak up for purity!

Until next time

Blessings Narelle

 

Posted in Christian living, Life, travel, Uncategorized

Tragedy of False Legacy

Recently I watched sadly as three hundred years of history was struck down with an excavator, hammer and crowbar, the rest was burned until absolutely nothing was left to tell the stories of yesteryear.

This house was built in the 1700’s. Now what was happening during that time?

Let’s take a look:

The British and Spanish were battling it out over territories

There were wars between the French and the Indians

The United Kingdom was formed and Britain started to expand the British Empire throughout the world

Alaska was discovered by Europeans

Hawaii was discovered by Europeans

Australia was discovered by Europeans

James Watt discovers the steam engine. Joseph Priestly and Daniel Rutherford independently discover nitrogen.

The American Revolution against Britain occurred.

The French Revolution occurs, ending in the execution of the king and queen and thousands of others.

This was an amazing era of discovery and change. On Capeville Drive, Virginia, in the Commonwealth of Virginia, a house was built: A two story, home of above moderate size and appearance for the period. I don’t know who built it or even the history of the area other than there were substantial cotton plantations in that period in that area. You can imagine the owner building a lovely home for his burgeoning family, filled with dreams and aspirations for their future in this brand new country.

It survived a civil war, surrounded by fields that you can easily imagine saw incredible pain and deaths.

It was bemused as modernization came and tractors replaced horse driven plows.

It continued to watch as its young men marched off to two world wars, and other wars in far off countries.

It observed in silence as its country faced civil unrest. It stood in awe as man walked on the moon and more space exploration took and amazing discoveries in science.

And then, it was left to decay. Families died or were dispersed. Pickers came and took whatever they could take to break up and sell. People took no notice as the large trees, and vines encroached and left it struggling to stand.

Then one day a few weeks ago, three hundred years toppled to the ground. We took what we could of any remaining good timbers to re-purpose in another old beauty, but the rest was shoveled up or burned along with the 200 year old pecan trees standing guard over history. It was a confronting sight. All because the owner, a farmer of crops needed to have an unobstructed path for his free-roaming irrigation system!

It had served its purpose and the foundations had long since become hazardous but she was still a magnificent lady who had endured so much! It felt like she deserved better.

But that is the end of all things in this world – decay, corrosion, and decline. King Solomon said it well that despite all of his wealth and wisdom everything is vanity because no matter what we amass the end result is we leave it to someone else. We can’t take it with us and ultimately it will all decay.  It made me think of the importance of leaving a truly lasting legacy! An eternal legacy!

Jesus says don’t lay up for yourself treasures on earth for that reason, but lay up for yourself treasures in heaven. What are those treasures? He is our treasure! Set our hope on the living God. Seek first the Kingdom of God and His righteousness.

Let’s pursue with diligence and energy the eternal things of life.

Until next time

Blessings Narelle `

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

Posted in Christian living, Life, Uncategorized

Love Is ? Part 1

20170112_153645Let me just start by adding here a disclaimer. I do not claim in any shape nor form to have conquered my own insecurities, pains, failures etc  to be perfect in love.  What I do have is the power of Christ working in me to bring about His will and pleasure in my life. He is wisdom and Love and is working these things out in my life as I become more like Him. Do I get in the way? Often! My old man rises up and I struggle, but this does not deny the truth that we can walk in this type of love and should never stop aspiring to live in that place of Love that casts out fear.

So here goes.

What is love?

We say we love food, dogs, cats, children, grandchildren, the weather, our jobs, our cars, our new hair-do, our families, our spouse, our new lounge, our new makeup, our God, our country, or our new phone. Love or that feeling of love can be assigned to the most important things in our lives and to the most mundane, side by side and in no particular order. Usually what is top of mind and bringing US the most happiness at that precise moment in time is what equates with love.

LOVE defined in the dictionary is – a strong positive emotion of regard and affection and devotion; A deep feeling of sexual desire and attraction; A score of zero in tennis or squash.

I know the last one doesn’t relate to my discourse here but sometimes love can be a zero in terms of relationships so guess it does fit!

The world describes love as an emotion, a feeling, while the Bible describes love in terms of 1 Corinthians 13 as an action.

Love should be the measure stick for our lives.

First let me start with defining love according to Corinthians 13.

AMPLIFIED BIBLE.

1 Corinthians 13: 1-3

If I can speak with tongues of man and even of angels, but have not love (that reasoning, intentional, spiritual devotion such as inspired by God’s love for and in us, I am only a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. And if I have prophetic powers (the gift of interpreting the divine will and purpose, and understand all mysteries and possess all knowledge, and if I have sufficient faith so that I can remove mountains, but have not love (God’s love in me) I am nothing – a useless nobody.

Even if I dole out all that I have (to the poor) in providing food and if I surrender my body to be burned or in order that I may glory but have not God’s love in me, I gain nothing.

Wow! I don’t know about you but if I look at what is important to people in life most would be amazed if they could prophesy the divine will and purpose of God, If they could move mountains in faith or provide food for the hungry or in fact give our lives for any noble cause, yet here it is saying that none of that matters if we don’t have love.

Ok. I don’t know about you but that to me is a tall order  in terms of what appears to be successful living, Christian or otherwise, to have all knowledge etc. how powerful is that? Love changes the perspective from how the world perceives success to how God does.

According Galatians the Fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience or long suffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control.

God is more interested in our being, our character, not our doing or achievements.

Corinthians continues:

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonour others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.

I am nothing.  I gain nothing.  I am a useless nobody. I am a sounding cymbal, sharp and annoying if I don’t have love.

This love is not the same love as for my dog or cat or even child. This love is AGAPE an amazing form of Love from God.  A God given, inspired love that never fails.

Agape is – Affection or benevolence, feast of charity, dear, love, plural – is love feasts.

I will tire of my new phone, lounge, lover but this love supersedes these emotions. They are not just a feeling, they are a commitment:  An act of devotion.

2 Thessalonians says that God is wholly love. His nature is summed up in love.  He is Love so when we are trying to walk in Love we need His help and His love permeating us. We have to put off the old man and let Him shine through.

So what is love?

Let’s start with patient – something most of us are not.

Think you are? What happens when we have to wait in long lines – or when our power goes off and we have to wait a full day or week for it to come back on? What about when the airlines have a delay or the traffic lights take that little bit too long? Or the person in front is distracted and misses the green light!! Doesn’t the patience disappear when that happens? How do I know? The horns start. The finger motions increase, especially when someone cuts us off. It also turns quite blue in some cabins as people drive along. Patience!

I am not trying to condemn just challenge us all. Whenever anything interferes with our time or situation how we react is evident – really fast.

Please assign thankfulness in events notwithstanding time – my well thought out anagram!

The Bible says, “Tribulation works patience.” You don’t know how much you are not patient until you face a situation that takes or interrupts your time; or just annoys us!

My husband is a very patient man. I have seen others who are not. One man in particular comes to mind who having trouble with his motor bike took to it with a hammer! Paul shook his head and said to him, “Now you have more to fix.”  Lack of patience and the ensuing reactive behaviour will undoubtedly require a greater effort to remedy! So best to start practicing now in the smaller instances of life!

So what does walking in love – being patient look like on a daily basis?

I Thessalonians 5:13-14 Be at peace among yourselves. And we urge you brothers, admonish the idle, encourage the fainthearted, help the weak, be patient with them all.  

When your 3 year old or husband whichever, asks you for what seems like the 1000th time where something is or why? Take a deep breath. Reply as patiently as you can and as slowly as you can, keeping the tone low and sweet.

When you are forced to wait in the check-out line and it closes, one person down from you, smile and be thankful. The delay may have some other greater reason than just trying to tick you off!

Be thankful! Take off complaining about the car that cut you off. Pray protection for them – they need it! Take off to put on. Now being reasonable here, sometimes the emotion outweighs the brain and we don’t have time to analyse the “what should I do”. That is where we need help. Pray and start with the small things to build the habit into our being.

I haven’t even touched on major issues that require patience. When the doctors report comes back negative, and tests prove serious. How do you remain patient in those situations? It takes prayer and effort. We have to start with the little situations to form a habit of thankfulness in every situation. We have to come to that place where we realize that not all things are good but to those who love God and are called according to His purposes, ALL things work together for good!

So today let’s start with the small tests of patience with our spouse, our neighbours, the dog, the cat, the machine playing up, driving, so that when we do face the life and death issues we have such an ingrained reactive process, thankfulness for the delay, the trial, the episode, will be instinctive and patience will prevail. If you fail and loose it – apologize, ask for help from Holy Spirit and get up and keep going! Be patient with yourself.

Please assign thankfulness in events notwithstanding time – too long I know but you get the drift!

Until next time put Love in to practice

Blessings Narelle

 

 

Posted in Christian living, Life, travel, Uncategorized

Faces on the Wall part 2

I wrote this earlier in the month but have been staying at a farm with no internet and snowed in…It is still relevant though.

Someone commented on my first post “Faces on the Wall” and said she couldn’t wait for the second installment of which I had not intended to write one. However, the last few days have prompted me to yet again contemplate just how our lives are a vapour.

20170107_110659
David’s famous Faces on the Wall.

My daughter started it with news of a young mum killed in a car accident leaving her two young children fighting for their lives, around Christmas. Then we saw all the faces of those in the entertainment industry or “famous” people who have passed this year including Prince, David Bowie and George Michael to name a few. Then in the past few days Carrie Fisher and for those who remember her Zsa Zsa Gabor. Carrie’s mum, Debbie Reynolds, one of my all-time favourites from the past, followed her daughter quickly afterwards.

So many famous faces fading away! Some are only youngish, in their 50’s and yes that is young despite the under 30’s disbelief. Some are in their golden years, 80 plus. But whatever the age their lives have all come to the same end, death.

Now this is not a great subject to bring up amidst the celebrations of Christmas and New Year but it is the most “real” reality there is! We will all face it. We all will only face it once! We will all have to suffer the absolute pain of losing a loved one. Death was not meant to be! We were created for everlasting life. Death came through sin, and the pain of death, physically and emotionally will be with us until the end of this age.

We all try to avoid the subject. We all try to avoid the inevitable, believing somehow that it will pass us by. But the bitter truth is that we will all go the way of death.

However, the truth of everlasting life and resurrection is what we are promised through Christ. He told Lazarus’s sister that if she only believed in Him, the Resurrection and the Life, she would see her brother again. By this time Lazarus had been dead for 4 days and had even been placed in a tomb. Martha was confused and thought Jesus meant at the end of time Lazarus would be resurrected, but in this case He meant He would raise Lazarus from the dead. Can you imagine the absolute fear, joy and wonderment of having your loved one come back to life after having buried them?

Our western culture is very anesthetized to death and sickness, keeping it all very secluded, separate and clinical, requiring anyone who has suffered a loss to complete their grieving as soon as possible so as not to make other people uncomfortable.

Other cultures are not so emotionally detached from death with various celebratory stages of grief continuing long passed the death of the person. Choosing to remember, celebrate, commemorate, and cry over their loss and the life of their loved ones.

But at the end, no matter how we do or don’t grieve death, I am much more concerned with how I live. Have I lived with purpose? Have I loved with purpose? Have I impacted my world to the best of my talents and abilities? At the end of time when I stand before my God, I want to hear Him say, “Well done good and faithful servant!” In the end that His approval is all that matters in life.

I can be rich; I can be poor; I can travel and do amazing things; I can stay in the same place all my life; I can be famous; I can be nobody that anybody recognizes; but if He doesn’t know me then my life has been in vain. It’s His voice I want to hear say, “I know you”.

My prayer for you today is that you will come to know Him so that you will be able to experience the Resurrection and the Life.  He is Life and without Him we are dead even if we are alive.

Talk again soon

Blessings Narelle

20161219_101032
A WW2 relief on the memorial in Washington. Death is a reality of the Battlefield.
Posted in grandparenting, Life, Parenthood, travel

Faces on the Wall

My son-in-law has an obsession – apart from his wife! He loves old pictures, frames and heads. He doesn’t care who they are, he just puts them up on his walls. Eyebrows are raised often when people learn they are not relatives or in fact anyone he knows. There are the famous and perhaps even infamous and also just the obscure who have lived and died with just their families knowing of their greatness.

Recently we were in Jerusalem hence my absence from writing. It was too amazing and so little time to do everything including sleep let alone write! We were there during the Feast of Tabernacles, or Sukkot, a Jewish celebration where they live in temporary outdoor structures called sukkahs built on balconies, yards etc to remind them how God brought them out of Egypt and how they lived in tents for 40 years. It speaks of the providence and provision of God covering them always.

During our stay we were staying inside the Old City at the Jaffa Gate, and decided one night to attend the light show in the Citadel of David just next door to us. The light show is projected on the walls of the old Citadel and the history of Jerusalem is told through the conquests and occupations by so many as the faces pass through the ages on the walls.

It gives you such a sense of history which in my home country Australia, we lack. Our European History only extends a few hundred years –  Our aboriginal peoples, thousands of years but we lack the structures to remind us that people lived here.

It struck me this week again just how fast life is. As the lights flicked through the centuries and the photos testify of lives come and gone, you are reminded of just how quickly life passes. We are as the Bible says just a vapour, a mist. It’s there and gone. This past two weeks I remember those who have been gone for a year now. I think of those who have been gone much longer. I don’t want to sound morbid in fact the opposite is more true.

I think of their stories, their lives lived, their inheritance they have left in the love and lives they cherished. I think of the impact they have each made in their worlds. They may not have been famous or infamous but each life impacts others. I just feel humbled that each day we get to breathe and live to love and impact on others with that love. I most likely will never be famous and hopefully not infamous but my trust is that my deeds are noticed by those who matter most to me, and that I can impact those around me with love and purpose and hope. My greatest ambition is to stand before my Heavenly Father and hear Him say, “Well done good and faithful servant, enter in to the joy of your Master.”

Know that each of us has a story and a purpose to our existence. Live confidently in that knowledge and live until you die!

It’s good to be back. Talk again soon.

Blessings Narelle

20161024_190503
A Young Shepherd Boy projected on to the walls of David’s Citadel. 
Posted in Life, travel

My Life is too Short for Flounces

I don’t know if you remember them but in the 70’s and 80’s there were “things” called flounces that you put around the bottom of your bed. I do not think they had any significant use other than to cover an ugly base to the bed. However, in the late 80’s and 90’s enter the water bed. I loved my water bed for two main reasons. One the old bed was lumpy and extremely uncomfortable and the water bed wasn’t, but the other thing was our water bed was timber based and I could ditch the flounces forever!!! I thought!

Currently we are in the United States living with our daughter. She has a bed with a base and she asked me to put on the “flounce” to cover the ugly base. Yes, they are back!! Now the things with flounces apart from their incredible lack of relevant use are they are extremely problematic when it comes to making said bed. They inevitably become entangled with the top sheet and you have to pull either out from under the mattress –very annoying if you don’t like the crinkled look of your bed. (Stop Press – I have found if I hold the flounce with my toes, I can stop the flounce from flouncing while I tuck the sheets in! Boom! Small victory!) However, this takes a few extra minutes of my life every day trying to control something that really makes no sense at all.

I was cursing the “flounces” the other day and commented to Paul just how flounces represent the useless things in life!

Last October we walked 800 plus kilometres across France and Spain on the Camino De Compestella. It was an incredible experience and one which I will begin to blog about shortly….I was too exhausted on the trail each night to do much other than fall face first in to bed, to write anything significant along the Way! One of the things that both Paul and I noted was just how much stuff we all think we need in our lives to survive.

We each carried our back packs for around 8 weeks with everything we needed along the Way. We ditched quite a bit the first few days out as did many others, after a huge trek through the Pyrenees helped you decide what was really necessary for the rest of the 800 plus kilometre walk. I think many of us need to ditch those things that are weighing us down or keep us entrapped in this cycle of life – physical and emotional!

Here is my somewhat cynical portrayal of life especially after having packed up my parent’s houses and seen others die leaving behind all their worldly possessions. Mind you this is from a totally western perspective, yet having lived cross culturally I do see that there is an innate desire in mankind to accumulate, despite poverty and cultural variants.

We are born.

We have lots of toys and keepsakes as children.

We move out of home taking a few of those keepsakes with us – perhaps leaving the rest behind with Mum and Dad.

We may eventually get married or not but either way we accumulate what it takes to set up one house after another. As our income increases, so does our desire to increase our belongings.

Children may come..need I say more. Pets…can be just as consuming.

Children leave home, usually, but not always, taking with them those precious keepsakes.

We may decide it is time to downsize. So we sell off, give away or just store.

Sometimes we decide that we can’t live without all our “stuff” so start collecting again.

In only a matter of years much time and money has been spent re-accumulating.

Then time catches up and we find ourselves not able to really look after all the stuff any longer so start to sell off give away or dump by this stage.

Then if we are blessed with longer life than many others we might find ourselves in the proverbial 3 meter x 4 meter room and be lucky enough not to have to share with some other older person. We are allocated one cupboard and bit of wall space to hang our cherished pictures of family or a treasured art piece.

At the end of our vapour life we finally die and our few last possessions are either fought over by family or dumped at the nearest thrift shop.

Other scenarios are those who continue all their lives to accumulate, house after house, storage shed after storage shed to contain it all. Some leaving significant investments, jewellery, art etc all ending in the same scenario with family either fighting over it or dumped somewhere on to the next  accumulating person.

I know it sounds cynical but my question is, “Why do we pursue these ‘things’ with such passion, fervency, desire, time and money?”

Other questions are:

Why do we train our children to become consumers?

Why do we feel we need so much?

Why are we afraid to let go of those ‘things’ that we think are everything to us.

I remember when we were in the Philippines a couple of years ago and I was walking with some friends listening to their stories of how they lost every single thing they owned when one of the world’s worst typhoons and tidal surge thereafter, killed so many, and wiped out entire townships and cities.

I asked if anyone in their area had committed suicide after the storm.

“Why would they?” my friend asked incredulously.

I explained the number of suicides occurring in the outback of Australia due to farmers losing their farms and their livelihoods etc due to extremely prolonged droughts and economic issues. ‘

“Why? Are they not used to being poor?” was her reply.

Therein is the kicker. We have so many expectations from media to family, to culture. To have is to be…be someone, be important, be happy, be content, be successful, be..If I have then I am. If I have then I was.

We are much more than stuff. I for one want my life to measure far more than through what I have or don’t have. I want to be..the person God has called me to be. I want to be there for the significant people in my life and the not so significant. I want to be available to go where and when God calls me, not encumbered by the constraints of this world. I want my wealth and health to be measured in the eternal weights and balances. It doesn’t mean I want to live on the streets etc but I just don’t want to be consumed by the acquisition of things to try and satisfy something only God can fill in my life and living for His purposes can bring value to my existence. Maybe I am the aged hippy my eldest daughter said I was!

Maybe I try to embrace a saying credited to Mother Theresa, “Live simply so that others might simply live!”

I will continue to make my bed with the flounce in respect of my daughters wishes but I can’t wait to ditch anything that doesn’t have significant use or value to my life………Its too short for flounces.

 

Blessings Narelle

Until next time.

20151026_112507
Enjoying the simple pleasures of life.