Tag: Love

Posted in Christian living, communication, faith, health and wellness, Life, Love, Marriage, Uncategorized

Love Doesn’t Insist on Its Own Way

Posted on by narellejkelvin

Love doesn’t insist on its on way!

What is love? I will tell you what it is not!  It isn’t seeking to be self-satisfied by gaining its own way. You can choose to demand your rights, or you can chose to walk in love which is self-denying! In one translation it says, “Does not keep a record of wrongs done to it!” Ouch!

How many times do we maintain a list of wrongs? It may not appear you are holding on to someone’s “wrongs” until a situation arises and all of a sudden all those previous irritations, wrongs, abuses, offenses come rushing back and enter into the argument or situation. It creeps in making us feel and appear very ugly – as the southerners here say.

Ugly – unpleasant, nasty, disagreeable, alarming, tense, charged, serious, grave; a good word to describe what it looks like to continually insist on our own way! Yet the world tells us we should be seeking to do what makes us happy or satisfies us and our own desires.

This word is contrary to that thought and not easy to fulfill. As a young wife I followed my mother’s example of holding wrongs or pain in until like Vesuvius an explosion would ensue, and all manner of “stuff” would come spewing out!

I followed suit and would retain and retain until finally it would all come out when the toothpaste was squeezed the wrong way! No wonder poor Paul would wonder what he had done. Of course it wasn’t the toothpaste – but it was the last thing on top of all other “wrongs”.

Thankfully the years have taught me not to allow perceived wrongs to fester until a weeping sore oozes out rubbish that is completely unrelated to an incident! Now I communicate what I am feeling without the emotion of anger attached. It is much more painless and usually results in a resolution. It also gives me time to assess.

What exactly am I reacting to? Am I responding to something that has more to do with my own self then the other person really wronging me? Is it really something that needs to be addressed to the other person or something I need to work out between myself and God? Is it something that is best left blowing in the wind?

So as I learn to walk in love I will not insist on my own way or keep a list of wrongs. I can let a lot of useless emotions go or confront in love something without the festering! Only in His Grace!

Until next time

Blessings and Love

Narelle

 

 

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Praying in Power

Prayer definition: a solemn request for help or expression of thanks addressed to God or an object of worship. An earnest hope or wish.

Oh! I think of prayer in so many more terms than this! Supplication – the action of asking or begging for something earnestly or humbly. Petitioning: make or present a formal request to (an authority) with respect to a particular cause. Other words that spring to mind are desperate, faith-filled, answered, persistent, connection, love, hope, and faith.

I have always understood prayer from my early years when I cried desperately to “God” to help me before I actually met Him. I cried out often as a young believer for His wisdom for situations; His guidance in my life; for the man I was to marry: for the children He blessed me with and those who don’t know Him personally; for situations of deliverance and healing for many around me who needed miracles! It is the breath of my life as a believer.

However, it is not easy.  I have struggled with regular prayer times or with praying consistently or even knowing how to pray in situations.

This isn’t a study in prayer: That is for a book or indeed many books! This is just an encouragement to pray; to cry out to our Creator, Father, Friend, Lord; to communicate with the Maker of Heaven and Earth! With the One who knows you and those around you so intimately. It is my heart communicating with His Heart! I have seen so many testimonies and answers from the power of prayer!

As a child I was what I would call persistent, others would call it petulant! Either way I was determined to get my own way! It was an unpleasant quality in many ways but as I have grown older that persistence and inability to accept certain things is something I am thankful for. There are certain things I will not give up on!

My family; my friends; those who have been under our ministry and in our lives; the many issues I see surrounding me that cause me to grieve as it does the Father; for leaders of our nations; for fellow believers; for non-believers; for harvesters for the harvest field; and the list goes on! We have so many things to pray and believe for.

Some question that we even need to pray saying everything is preordained by God anyway. However, He tells me that we are co-workers with Him! That working together comes together as we believe the promises of God and pray for those things He has instructed us to: Like Abraham believing for what he couldn’t see!

I see how prayer has saved the lives of my daughter and grandchild facing severe illnesses, and other tragic situations within our family. Not everything goes as I think it will or I think it should, but ultimately, I believe it will all work together for good!!!

I call and He says He hears and answers! I never speak to the Universe! I speak to the Creator of the Universe! Much more powerful!

However, as I said I have struggled at various times with not being regular or consistent enough in my “prayer times”. So hear are a few tips to staying in an attitude of prayer ALL the TIME!

  1. FINDING TIME  AND A PLACE -There are definite times of seeking God including fasting and devouring the Word of God but we shouldn’t be under condemnation if that time includes walking along the beach, sitting in your car (take care driving with this one), under your breath even in the shopping mall (they just think you might be on your phone or from another country as you pray in tongues!) and the list goes on! We should not be legalistic enough believing that there is a certain time or place that HAS to occur. However, finding a “war room or space” in your home and a time that works for you, is still an important aspect of prayer. Don’t get bogged down in details of where and when, just start and start again when life overwhelms you!
  2. WHAT TO PRAY FOR – Recently I heard a young woman speak of how her mother has been an inspiration to her as a young mum in the area of prayer and explained how she prays. She sets aside each day particularly to pray for certain things – e.g. as she is home doing house work she prays. At work she will pray for her colleagues and those around her etc. So she covers a lot of spiritual ground in her week! A prayer journal will help with this and also help you keep track as you see God working situations out before your eyes. It will also help you maintain focus and faith as time works those answers out! There are so many words in the Scripture we are told to pray for: boldness; the labourers to go into the harvest field; leaders etc that we will rarely have trouble filling time in! This doesn’t include the times of prayer reflection where we are not petitioning God for anything other than just to bask in the  presence of the Father – a wonderful place to be.
  3. HOW SHOULD I PRAY?  So many think of praying as the “Lord’s prayer” only. That was just a format not necessarily a chant we need to recite and then walk away feeling as though we have down our “bit”. Prayer is a much more intimate moment than that. The Lord’s Prayer is powerful and does set the form work for pouring in to it amazing prayer times. But there are so many forms of prayer including prayers of warfare, intercessory, supplication, thankfulness, laments, forgiveness prayers; praying the Word and Promises of God and the list goes on. There is also the power of praying in tongues which sometimes will leave you groaning with such deep sorrow in your spirit. There are many types so don’t become religious in form, but let it come out of relationship with our Lord and Saviour! Be honest to Him and yourself! He is your Heavenly Father and longs for relationship with you!
  4. HOW LONG SHOULD I KEEP ASKING – As long as it takes and then some! I have been waiting over 20 years to see the fulfillment of promises I have been praying and believing for. Pray without ceasing! Persistence in a situation will see a resolution one way or the other. Never give up! You shouldn’t see what you see – You need to see what God sees! This is not denial – It is speaking faith! Don’t let the enemy take from you. He comes to kill, steal and destroy, Jesus came to give you abundant life! Never give him ground that belongs to you! You are a mother a grandmother, a wife, a friend, a daughter, a sister – so many need you to stand with them as a warrior woman. You need to find your place of peace in so many situations. Never give up! Be like the might man of David, whose hand, while fighting for a lentil field became frozen to his sword! Don’t give up until you see the victory come to pass! Be like the persistent woman and the unrighteous judge! Keep calling until that door comes open!
  5. PRAY IN THE HOLY SPIRIT – I was blessed as a new believer to be baptised in the Holy Spirit and spoke in tongues just days after I became a born again believer. This was His power flowing through me; rivers of living water, compelling me to pray at different times when I didn’t know who or what I was actually praying for at the time. Some of these were life saving events that I eventually found out about! You just need to ask Him to fill you with the Holy Spirit – the Comforter, the Promise; The same Power that Raised Christ from the Dead!

Lord I pray over this article, that the many who read will become so enthused to seek Your face through prayer, and see the power of God unleashed into situations they are facing and may they see the victory come to pass. That they will see you as Abba (Daddy) Father – In Jesus Name – Amen!

Enjoy your prayer adventure about to unfold before you as you look to the Lover of your Soul and begin to commune with Him in a new way!

Blessings Until next time

Narelle

PS I would love to hear from you: your struggles; your answers; your praise points. Your testimony could help others!father cradling a child

Posted in Christian living, gardening, health and wellness, Life, Love, Marriage, Uncategorized

Cruising Alaska – Prostitutes and Marriage

Posted on by narellejkelvin

In December 2015 we celebrated our 40th Wedding anniversary and part of our 12 month celebration apart from walking the Camino,  included setting sail in May the following year for a cruise in Alaska.

It was a cruise Paul has always wanted to do and the weather, and cruise liner did not disappoint. It was very different to walking across Spain carrying a pack and almost felt indulgent! It was our first cruise for longer than an over night trip and I really wasn’t sure how I would handle living for 10 days  with thousands of other fellow travellers, eating and doing other “stuff” that I don’t particularly like doing eg drinking or cabarets etc.

But away we sailed! Firstly we spent a few days in Victoria. We would be passing that way later but we really wanted to see the Butchart Gardens without sharing with two thousand other people and for only a few hours. So we walked from the “Waddling Dog” a very quaint British feeling hotel that we fell in love with, including the resident British hound dog – 5th version of the Waddling Dog.

It was a small walk, only about 20 kilometers, but we enjoyed seeing the homes, paths through forests and meeting locals along the way. Walking really lets you see a place from a different perspective.

 

It was a comforting feeling to get the walking sticks back out.

We spent the day walking the amazing paths of flower gardens blooming with tulips and other spring beauties. I absolutely adore gardens and exploring them but the work required to nurture and grown them is colossal. Every sense soaked up the beauty and hard work created by Jennie Butchart and her team.

The next day a great friend of ours from the Camino caught up with us for a little while dropping us off to the ferry to take us to the mainland, with a promise to catch up when we came back with the cruise in a couple of weeks time.

We spent a week exploring British Columbia, staying at our time share in St Ives at Shuswap Lake.  The drive across and the surrounding country were magnificent and just how I always imagined Canada to be.

Returning to Vancouver a week later we then set sail up the Inland Passage.  The weather was amazing each day unveiling breathtaking scenery. Stellar was the word the staff and rangers used often!

One stop was Ketchikan. As we walked around the small town snuggled against the mountains, we discovered Creek Street. Creek Street is a great viewing spot to watch the salmon run although we were a bit early. There was a particular place though that saddened me. It is called Married Man’s Trail. This was the muddy path married men took to visit one of the 20 “houses of ill repute” found on Creek Street in ages gone by. Trust me the street isn’t that long or deep so they must have been falling over themselves!

There is a bridge that crosses over from the main township but the married men followed the trail to the “houses” so they wouldn’t be seen. I watched as many laughed and took photos with “girls” dressed for photo opportunities and all thought it was a good laugh. I didn’t. I thought of the many young girls who would have found themselves possibly trafficked but definitely abused by the men and as well ostracized by the “normal” women of the community.

I found it sad that men felt the need to visit the ladies of the night! The Street was also the place for liquor to be smuggled to in the era of prohibition! So it was definitely a party street.

What I find sad is how men relinquished their vows to visit prostitutes and still do. The Bible says that the marriage bed is not to be defiled. Having to look outside of marriage to be fulfilled is destructive on so many levels. There is of course the physical side of sleeping around which can attract any number of diseases. Then there is the emotional drain of secret keeping as well as becoming emotionally involved with someone else. Finally the spiritual aspect is the most dangerous. Jesus said even to look on a woman with lust was considered adultery! So bottom line looking outside of marriage for sexual satisfaction will lead down the path of destruction!  It will destroy your marriage, possibly your physical life and definitely your spiritual life.

I think of the Butchart Garden and the effort it took to create such a place of beauty out of an old quarry and I stand in awe of that work. Yet similar effort must be given to the marriage relationship to cause it to grow beautiful things. Nurture the relationship, plant good seeds, and keep it fed and watered with love. Also keep the marriage bed fun and faithful!

Don’t find yourself walking down a married man’s lane and heading to a Creek Street – either figuratively or in your imagination.  Marriage is too precious!

Blessings for now

Until next time

NarelleIMG_095020160512_105853IMG_0952

 

Posted in Christian living, communication, cross cultural living, grandparenting, Life, Marriage, Parenthood

Love is – Not Arrogant or Rude

Posted on by narellejkelvin

20170112_153645Arrogant: having or revealing an exaggerated sense of one’s own importance or abilities.

Arrogant synonyms: haughty, conceited, hubristic, self-important, opinionated, egotistic, full of oneself, superior; overbearing, pompous, high-handed, swaggering, boastful, bumptious, blustering, patronizing, condescending, disdainful, contemptuous, imperious; proud, vain, immodest; lofty, lordly, snobbish, snobby, overweening, supercilious, smug; pretentious, affected; scornful, mocking, sneering, scoffing; informalhoity-toity, high and mighty, uppity, snooty, stuck-up, toffee-nosed, fancy-pants, snotty, jumped up, too big for one’s boots, big-headed

Rude: offensively impolite or bad-mannered. “she had been rude to her boss”

Ill-mannered, bad mannered,  impolite,  discourteous,  impertinent,  insolent,  impudent,  cheeky,audacious, presumptuous, uncivil, disrespectful, unmannerly, ill-bred,  churlish,  crass, curt, brusque, blunt, ungracious, graceless, brash, unpleasant, disagreeable, off-hand, short, sharp; offensive, insulting, derogatory, disparaging, abusive; tactless, undiplomatic, uncomplimentary, uncharitable, unchivalrous, ungallant, ungentlemanly, unladylike; archaic malapert, contumelious; rare underbred, mannerless

Love is not arrogant or rude. Hm..On looking at these I wonder at the times I have placed myself above others, with feelings of being of more importance. I also look at the synonyms of rude and see, sharp, short, offhand, unpleasant, disagreeable and see my myself in the mirror of His Word.

I know we are not condemned but the Word is a mirror and as I study the reflection of myself in it, I see the areas I still lack in walking in love!

Love is not arrogant, proud or rude. I am quick to judge others when they are rude to me, slight me, are disparaging, tactless etc, but judge my own self with a far less stringent measure, knowing I don’t intentionally aim to hurt others, yet think they do to me! I need to keep watch over my own self, my feelings and attitudes. It is no easy task and as I study this passage so easily quoted yet so hard to live, I am reminded that it is only by Grace are we able to walk this walk and live in that place of love. Love Him and others.

It is ok to love those who are friendly and loving toward us but when others turn their backs on us, treat us with contempt or hatred, are rude, arrogant, kill, maim, or torture us, how do we responded?

Do we respond in kind? One of my challenging scriptures (of which there are many) is the one that says we don’t trade insult for insult or evil for evil, but overcome evil with good! This is no small feat and again, it can only be done by His love outworking in us. We set the frame work of putting off those things of malice, bitterness, hatred, and putting on His clothing of humility and love.

Oh!!! This so easily flows off the keyboard or out of the mouth but to live this life…well like us all, I struggle to put off those things. Sometimes we continue to pick at the wound received, reciting, rehearsing the hurt, reliving the pain, and wonder why it starts to bleed again! Best to cover it with the soothing oil of love, and bandage it with His Grace and Mercy. Oh again so easily said, but such a challenge to do!

Anyway this is the mirror I stand in front of tonight as I think of Him and how He loved me even when I cursed His name and turned my eyes to the world, constantly looking for love, affirmation and security. His is the only love I can trust in fully and I must walk in that knowledge that I am so loved by Him and stand above reproach in the eyes of my God. So are you!

 

 

Posted in Christian living, Life, Love, Marriage, sexual issues, Uncategorized

A Good Marriage Does Good Like Medicine

Posted on by narellejkelvin

I wrote this at 39 years married. We are now approaching 42 years! I wrote this blog in health and wellness for a reason. Having a healthy marriage can improve the health of people – note I say healthy; as a sick marriage can cause some major health issues, both physically and emotionalley. Here are my thoughts on maintaining a healthy marriage.

I think if you have a good marriage you are less prone to many of the other stresses of life which cause dis-ease and sickness. Hope deferred makes the heart sick. I am not saying that married couples are healthier than singles I am just saying that being in a happy relationship is definitely a healthy way to live.

Someone asked me the other day what did we do to have a good marriage?

I had to stop and think about it. There are quite a few answers to that one but I guess the first one comes from what I carried down the aisle on our wedding day 39 years ago instead of the traditional wedding bouquet – A Bible. A bunch of flowers is lovely but are a bit like some expectations after the wedding – Nice for a day but die quickly thereafter. I wanted something that would reflect what I wanted from my entire marriage not just the wedding day…a foundation of Truth.

We had decided that at the very outset, the Word of God was our foundation. We also really only sang one song during our service – Turn your eyes upon Jesus which is what we have done over the 39 years (41 now).

Has it been easy? No. Have there been tears – on both sides? Absolutely! Have there been fights? For sure! Has there been anger? Of course! Has there been love? Lots!  Fun? Insane amounts!

We never started off on an easy footing. We were both young. I was 17. He was 20. We were dirt poor. We both carried incredible baggage. We were both insecure in many areas. We both were determined – in good and bad ways. We both loved the Lord.

There have been some really hard times where divorce could have been an easy out. I guess I was particularly proud and determined not to have my parents and others say, “I told you, you were too young.” I was also determined that the enemy would not have his way in destroying yet another marriage.

I believe the enemy, Satan, has been trying to destroy two institutions ordained of God for millennia – marriage and the church. So we did not want to be a statistic and we have fought hard to keep our marriage together and strong.

I also know we are often our own worst enemies, desiring our own ways, living for ourselves and not desiring the best for others above our own needs. This spells disaster to any relationship.

There have been a lot of learning experiences but these would be my top 10 steps if applied, for a relationship to survive .

  1. Keep Christ number ONE – by being in relationship with Him and keeping the Word of God as your guide and praying together. We always say to each other there is Someone we love more than the other. He is our #1.
  2. Forgive, forgive, forgive, Keep short accounts – 1 Corinthians 13 saved our 4 year old marriage when I realized I didn’t ‘love’ my husband anymore – meaning I didn’t feel like I loved him. I had to learn what true love is. I learned not to keep a record of wrongs…more on that in a later blog. Never forget; You are not perfect – neither is your partner!
  3. No/Know you can’t change the other person – you can only change yourself and how you behave or react.
  4. Give 100% without expecting anything back – When you give with that kind of love you will receive it back. I know we are told it is a 50:50 arrangement but when you only give 50% there are bound to be some issues down the track.
  5. On the same token – love yourself – Don’t neglect yourself and become a doormat. Know what you want and express that as well. Don’t lose yourself in the other person.
  6. Communication is a must. Learn how to communicate effectively with your partner – we are not all the same and have different ways to express ourselves.
  7. Keep passion alive – This is a blog in itself..but if you lose the passion in your relationship you set yourselves up for looking elsewhere for excitement. After the kids leave home the two of you are left and that is a lot of years looking at each other if you don’t find fulfillment in each other anymore. Don’t let the kids and life, dictate your passion. Fall in love with each other frequently.
  8. Keep intimacy alive – different to passion…Non-sexual touch and kind words are important. Learn to do things you like together.
  9. Be kind to one another – Spiteful, critical, demeaning words do damage and are hard to take back.
  10. Keep humour alive in a marriage – have fun! Life is hard enough without losing your ability to laugh at yourselves and the situations you face together as a family.

Keeping your marriage healthy and fun will aid a long way to keeping you each healthy. So plan to make this year a turning point in your marriage and enjoy the experience.

 

Until next time

Narelle

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Celebrating 40 years with our zany Josiah and family!
Posted in Christian living, grandparenting, internet marketing, Life, Marriage, Parenthood, pornography, sexual issues, Uncategorized

Pornography and sexual issues

Posted on by narellejkelvin

fifty-shades-darker-mask
I remember a conference I was at a few years ago for internet marketing. The training led to examining such sites as Second Life where people live as avatars in a fantasy world but pay in real dollar terms. As of 2013 it had over a million users engaging in this fantasy world.

The discussion led to other sites where avatars engage in violent sexual acts on-line. During the discussion some ignorant person commented and said, “Well at least it keeps them off the streets and from acting out.”

Why do I say ignorant? Because these people obviously do not understand the phases of addiction. As a counsellor and former manager of a rehab, I have seen and studied addiction and addicts. What initially gratified will eventually no longer satisfy and a stronger more potent form will be required to try to reach the first “hit”- but will rarely succeed.

What initially satisfied with being played out on-line, in the mind, in house, can eventually lead to a much graver scenario being required to maintain or worse, increase satisfaction. The more times graphic situations are played out on-line, visually etc. the greater the action required to fulfill that desire.

Why do I broach this subject that is already so widely discussed?

Recently I noticed an article regarding the views of 15 year old girls and how they are handling or not handling the epidemic of pornography from their young male peers and the pressures they are facing in terms of sexual relationships. I was so saddened to hear the depth of expectation to perform sexual exploits to have a relationship.

I remember as a 15 year old the pressures around then,in terms of magazines, books etc. that opened the mind and eye gates to pornography. Now there are so many more avenues to contend with, for not only young people but older people also.

When we have such movies and books as 50 Shades so sought after by women – I have to ask myself two questions – Why? and When?  Why would women support such violent relationships being portrayed and then cry “foul” when men are confused with “NO”! When will we learn that what we eat we become! What we watch and read – well……I am still in shock as to how many women have sought after this book and movie, including young Christian women  with the reasoning – “But he loves her.” Sorry people wake up! This is a lie from the pit and  not the kind of love anyone should aspire to!

Lust and its acts are never going to be contained without Christ – we are human and it is a condition of sinful man, but when we see laws abolished or not upheld with limited prosecuting of those who participate or sell pornography; magazine placement in stores go unchallenged or un-protested; TV shows, questionable movies and books supported by viewing and purchasing;  we can be assured we will reap the results. Violence against women and children increases. Unplanned pregnancies of teenage girls, and subsequent abortions rise. STD’s continue to plaque the population. We reap what we sow!

I love it when I hear of young people who have kept themselves for marriage and marriages that are untouched by the smell of the fire of lust.

I don’t stand in judgement of those who have failed in those areas, because it is only by grace that any of us stand, and I know the pain of these failures, but I pray for a standard and a voice for righteousness to arise to see this flood of lust and greed stemmed. I say greed because the bottom line is they are only selling what the market demands!  And it is not just those who call themselves non-believers. I have known men in church life to visit prostitutes regularly or struggle with pornography in a big way!

Pornography does damage on so many levels: Lives shattered, physically, emotionally, and most importantly – spiritually. Paul and the other apostles warned us constantly to withdraw from sexual immorality, in whatever form that comes.

We know though that when we repent we have someone who is faithful and just to forgive us of our sins! He can set us free from the bondages of sexual issues.

We will never see a complete demise of sexual deviancy in this world, because it is a matter of sin but we can alert our young people and remind ourselves of the need to guard our hearts always and start to speak up for purity!

Until next time

Blessings Narelle

 

Posted in Christian living, Life, Parenthood, Uncategorized

Love Does Not Envy – Part 4

Posted on by narellejkelvin

Envy: a feeling of discontent or covetousness with regard to another’s advantages, success, possessions, etc. ill will.

Love does not envy! This is an interesting statement. I always try to look at the Word as a mirror. What is it reflecting or pointing out in my life? I was a bit stumped as I looked at envy,  thinking I don’t feel like I envy or covet others’ things but then I looked at the dictionary definition and the other words for envy; discontent with regards to others’ success or possessions or even ill will towards them.

Now that hits a little closer to home. How often are we discontent with what we have, where we are, what we are doing or even who we are? If someone offends us do we wish them ill will or despise them being blessed in some way or  for succeeding to a greater degree than us?  How many times have I sat watching as others seem to have their lives together while I seem to be struggling in so many different ways or watch as someone is more successful and feel like a failure? How many times do I look in a mirror and despise parts of my body?

I remember discussing with a group of ladies about how we are to rejoice with those who rejoice and weep with those who weep. The general consensus was that it is sometimes easier to weep with people then to rejoice with them! Interesting thought! Is that because we find ourselves secretly envying the good things happening to others?

It’s a challenge when we look at it. Love doesn’t do that. It believes the best of people even when we think or are sure they mean differently and are intending to be nasty or even evil!

We know we are not walking in love when we allow envy to rise up.

An interesting phenomenon happened this week to my daughter’s car. We have a beautiful red bird here in Virginia called a Cardinal. The males are brilliant red with a cap like the cardinals of the Catholic Church. They are nearly always in pairs, male and female and are fairly territorial. This one took to Naomi’s little mini in the mirror, attacking it and becoming very distressed as the attack of the mirror continued. This morning it is taking on the other vehicle in the yard! Strange behavior!

Just as I was thinking about envy, I was told about the new attack and reflected that perhaps he was attacking a perceived enemy. He didn’t want anyone on his territory trying to take his mate from him! So many times we can react toward someone not in love but with ill will or anger, out of a motive of trying to protect others or ourselves. However, really we are only looking at our own reflection; perhaps seeing what is really some area of weakness within us.

Let us determine to throw off envy and walk in perfect love. Ask for God to pinpoint areas where it might be a weakness and give you wisdom and strength to overcome it.

This is the time to put off the old man of envy, and strife, feelings of ill will, insecurity and wrong perceptions. Thankfulness is a great combatant to envy; being thankful and verbalizing it. Thankful for everything that you have, are and are doing. Thankful for the success of others, and thankful for those who have said all manner of evil against you or harmed you!

Look to the Word as your mirror not your own reflection! I know I am freshly challenged!

Until next time!

Blessings Narelle

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Posted in Christian living, Life, Uncategorized

Love Is ? Part 1

Posted on by narellejkelvin

20170112_153645Let me just start by adding here a disclaimer. I do not claim in any shape nor form to have conquered my own insecurities, pains, failures etc  to be perfect in love.  What I do have is the power of Christ working in me to bring about His will and pleasure in my life. He is wisdom and Love and is working these things out in my life as I become more like Him. Do I get in the way? Often! My old man rises up and I struggle, but this does not deny the truth that we can walk in this type of love and should never stop aspiring to live in that place of Love that casts out fear.

So here goes.

What is love?

We say we love food, dogs, cats, children, grandchildren, the weather, our jobs, our cars, our new hair-do, our families, our spouse, our new lounge, our new makeup, our God, our country, or our new phone. Love or that feeling of love can be assigned to the most important things in our lives and to the most mundane, side by side and in no particular order. Usually what is top of mind and bringing US the most happiness at that precise moment in time is what equates with love.

LOVE defined in the dictionary is – a strong positive emotion of regard and affection and devotion; A deep feeling of sexual desire and attraction; A score of zero in tennis or squash.

I know the last one doesn’t relate to my discourse here but sometimes love can be a zero in terms of relationships so guess it does fit!

The world describes love as an emotion, a feeling, while the Bible describes love in terms of 1 Corinthians 13 as an action.

Love should be the measure stick for our lives.

First let me start with defining love according to Corinthians 13.

AMPLIFIED BIBLE.

1 Corinthians 13: 1-3

If I can speak with tongues of man and even of angels, but have not love (that reasoning, intentional, spiritual devotion such as inspired by God’s love for and in us, I am only a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. And if I have prophetic powers (the gift of interpreting the divine will and purpose, and understand all mysteries and possess all knowledge, and if I have sufficient faith so that I can remove mountains, but have not love (God’s love in me) I am nothing – a useless nobody.

Even if I dole out all that I have (to the poor) in providing food and if I surrender my body to be burned or in order that I may glory but have not God’s love in me, I gain nothing.

Wow! I don’t know about you but if I look at what is important to people in life most would be amazed if they could prophesy the divine will and purpose of God, If they could move mountains in faith or provide food for the hungry or in fact give our lives for any noble cause, yet here it is saying that none of that matters if we don’t have love.

Ok. I don’t know about you but that to me is a tall order  in terms of what appears to be successful living, Christian or otherwise, to have all knowledge etc. how powerful is that? Love changes the perspective from how the world perceives success to how God does.

According Galatians the Fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience or long suffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control.

God is more interested in our being, our character, not our doing or achievements.

Corinthians continues:

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonour others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.

I am nothing.  I gain nothing.  I am a useless nobody. I am a sounding cymbal, sharp and annoying if I don’t have love.

This love is not the same love as for my dog or cat or even child. This love is AGAPE an amazing form of Love from God.  A God given, inspired love that never fails.

Agape is – Affection or benevolence, feast of charity, dear, love, plural – is love feasts.

I will tire of my new phone, lounge, lover but this love supersedes these emotions. They are not just a feeling, they are a commitment:  An act of devotion.

2 Thessalonians says that God is wholly love. His nature is summed up in love.  He is Love so when we are trying to walk in Love we need His help and His love permeating us. We have to put off the old man and let Him shine through.

So what is love?

Let’s start with patient – something most of us are not.

Think you are? What happens when we have to wait in long lines – or when our power goes off and we have to wait a full day or week for it to come back on? What about when the airlines have a delay or the traffic lights take that little bit too long? Or the person in front is distracted and misses the green light!! Doesn’t the patience disappear when that happens? How do I know? The horns start. The finger motions increase, especially when someone cuts us off. It also turns quite blue in some cabins as people drive along. Patience!

I am not trying to condemn just challenge us all. Whenever anything interferes with our time or situation how we react is evident – really fast.

Please assign thankfulness in events notwithstanding time – my well thought out anagram!

The Bible says, “Tribulation works patience.” You don’t know how much you are not patient until you face a situation that takes or interrupts your time; or just annoys us!

My husband is a very patient man. I have seen others who are not. One man in particular comes to mind who having trouble with his motor bike took to it with a hammer! Paul shook his head and said to him, “Now you have more to fix.”  Lack of patience and the ensuing reactive behaviour will undoubtedly require a greater effort to remedy! So best to start practicing now in the smaller instances of life!

So what does walking in love – being patient look like on a daily basis?

I Thessalonians 5:13-14 Be at peace among yourselves. And we urge you brothers, admonish the idle, encourage the fainthearted, help the weak, be patient with them all.  

When your 3 year old or husband whichever, asks you for what seems like the 1000th time where something is or why? Take a deep breath. Reply as patiently as you can and as slowly as you can, keeping the tone low and sweet.

When you are forced to wait in the check-out line and it closes, one person down from you, smile and be thankful. The delay may have some other greater reason than just trying to tick you off!

Be thankful! Take off complaining about the car that cut you off. Pray protection for them – they need it! Take off to put on. Now being reasonable here, sometimes the emotion outweighs the brain and we don’t have time to analyse the “what should I do”. That is where we need help. Pray and start with the small things to build the habit into our being.

I haven’t even touched on major issues that require patience. When the doctors report comes back negative, and tests prove serious. How do you remain patient in those situations? It takes prayer and effort. We have to start with the little situations to form a habit of thankfulness in every situation. We have to come to that place where we realize that not all things are good but to those who love God and are called according to His purposes, ALL things work together for good!

So today let’s start with the small tests of patience with our spouse, our neighbours, the dog, the cat, the machine playing up, driving, so that when we do face the life and death issues we have such an ingrained reactive process, thankfulness for the delay, the trial, the episode, will be instinctive and patience will prevail. If you fail and loose it – apologize, ask for help from Holy Spirit and get up and keep going! Be patient with yourself.

Please assign thankfulness in events notwithstanding time – too long I know but you get the drift!

Until next time put Love in to practice

Blessings Narelle

 

 

Posted in Christian living, Life, travel, Uncategorized

Goals for the year?

Posted on by narellejkelvin

Ok…so my one goal to myself for this year is going to be to write something every day…That is about the only thing I will set in glue. The rest are just going to be plans…

My true goal though I have decided is to LOVE – that is what Corinthians tells us to do. Seek the best and Love is the best.

That is what I posted on Facebook for New Year,

so that makes it public and I am accountable, right? The funny thing was I met two amazing women at the local pub here on Eastern Shore in Virginia on New Years’ Eve  (only place open and didn’t want to sit out in the cold until 10pm to watch the crab pot fall…more on that later). I had posted about love that day and guess what we talked about for a couple of hours…you guessed it LOVE.

One girl has just divorced her husband and was feeling the pain. I mentioned about the love Paul the Apostle talks about in Corinthians 13! It turns out that was the verse they read at their wedding! More pain for her right there, as she felt that she had definitely not been walking in that realm of Love in her marriage.

Love is patient, kind, does not envy or boast, not arrogant, or rude. It does not insist on its own way; It is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing; but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, and endures all things. Love never ends.

The next morning on the first day of the year whilst attending a gorgeous little Baptist church here in Cape Charles, with a couple of new friends, the pastor preached on  – you guessed it, a call to duty to LOVE.

So I think what I will do in the next few blogs is dissect just what love is, how we get it, and how do we walk in it.

We are fed so many lies from the world on love eg. It’s a feeling.  It goes away. It makes us completely happy – if it doesn’t it mustn’t be right; have changed; have no hope so time to move on.

So I am going to dissect all of the above thoughts on love and see how I fare this year as I endeavour to walk in the Fruit of the Spirit one of which is love and just see how that is worked out in my life.

Trust you will enjoy the journey with me..and comments will be welcome!

Until next time Narelle

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The Great Crab Pot Drop of Cape Charles. It is dropped or rather lowered from the crane. Taking over from the Time Square Ball…only in America
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The Two of Us in front of the crab pot
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The great Crab Drop of 2017